Most of the time I'm confused but that's okay because nothing on here makes sense anyway
Reblogged from bisexualurl  131,795 notes

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

Reblogged from bisexualurl  259,085 notes

pansoph:

pansoph:

i went to a party and put 3 whole loaves of sliced bread all around the house i put bread under the kid’s pillow and in all 3 of his bathrooms, in his rugby shorts and the breast pocket of his school shirt, on his roof and his neighbor’s roof, in his couch and on his tv i’m laughing so hard he’s going to wake up hungover tomorrow and be like why the fuck is there bread everywhere 

image

i’m pissing myself

Reblogged from bisexualurl  244,728 notes

fearmyworld:

itstonybetch:

How Christina Aguilera singes lullabies to her children

What??

Reblogged from therealwerewolf  63,710 notes

therealwerewolf:

wearesorryfortheinconvenience:

wearesorryfortheinconvenience:

my friend is CONVINCED he is the one who brought on post limit. a few years ago he was reblogging a single picture as fast as he could as many times as he could and then the server crashed and ever since then people started hitting a post limit

its his fault we go through this

if you were wondering this is the image image

bUT IDK MAN I THINK THERE IS PLENTY OF FUCKIN REASON TO BE UPSET

that URL makes every 99.7% better